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NoineDNoine

Why does this pasty 60-year male with oversized breasts continue to lie about owning a boat and working out daily in the gym?

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NoineDNoine

The American Academy of Dermatology recommends applying SPF 30+ broad-spectrum sunblock to bald spots

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NoineDNoine

Tabber Benedict?

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NoineDNoine

Your son ain’t the same in a relative way but you’re older. Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

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NoineDNoine

Debtor, Rob Saul has finally completed his court ordered bankruptcy education classes

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NoineDNoine

This fucking slob always leaves a trail of saliva

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NoineDNoine

If John’s ex-kids or ex-friends walked past this man on the street, do you think they’d even recognize him?

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NoineDNoine

The demand letter from the ex-con, formerly disbarred, recently reinstated attorney was included in John’s $29.95 per month LegalShield plan.

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NoineDNoine

John’s mommy pays for everything because she’s guilty about abusing alcohol during pregnancy and birthing John the mutant.

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NoineDNoine

Any update on the status of one man slow’s one man show?

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NoineDNoine

When his end is finally here, he’ll be totally broke and entirely bald.

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NoineDNoine

If you were a 59 year old pillhead alcoholic who lost you wife, kids, full-time job, and driving privileges and begged your elderly mother for rides, you’d probably be bragging about a sticker you received in 1983 too.

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NoineDNoine

What kind of 60-year adult always talks about High School and never talks about college? One that never finished college.

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NoineDNoine

I’ve got half the hair there used to be. For as I feel as the dawn it fades to gray. Well, I’m half the man I used to be.

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NoineDNoine

Lonely Wetbrain is making early-evening incoherent phone calls. Subjects: HM Dan and Doug (Dustin) turning on him, all recent gig club-owners saying he’s the funniest comic ever on their stage, Trump and Musk surveilling him, playing Kate (knew she was taping), plans to sue Shuli/Karl…

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NoineDNoine

When did Wetbrain’s arms grow longer than his legs?

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NoineDNoine

I miss the fidget Wetbrain’s Cameos

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NoineDNoine

Wetbrain really thinks he’s Chillercon’s most eligible bachelor

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NoineDNoine

Request to an attendee of Chillercon - please capture video of yourself asking Wetbrain Melendez the Jackie and Fred penned question, “Who are you, and what do you do that makes you famous?”

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NoineDNoine

He’s been with thousands of woman. How many line up to see Wetbrain next week at Chillercon?

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NoineDNoine

On tapes 2, John now claims he’s been with thousands of women. In 2024, he claimed it was 300. That means he bedded 700 new women in the past year. Amazing.

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NoineDNoine

Cape Coral Creep

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NoineDNoine

Hey buddy - You want to buy a beer chippy?

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NoineDNoine

Does Mommy know her slow child is HPV Positive?

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NoineDNoine

Douglas (Dustin) Keller still not allowing wetbrain to tap ex-kids unused college funds to purchase hair plugs

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